The Daily: Smoking Cigarettes in Target

Thursday, March 17, 2022

5:00 am: Woke up from having a strange dream. I was smoking a cigarette in Target while shopping for t-shirts. I put out the cigarette and then I am trying to find a t-shirt that fits me, the medium was just too small, found a large it was cropped. There are very important things happening in my head.

5:40 am: I notice on the treadmill, while at the gym, that I seem to be the only person sweating. Everyone else is working out, but I am the only one wiping sweat off my forehead with my towel. Am I just sweatier than these other people.

6:30 am: Planning on writing about how I think I am a good mom but I am probably destroying my kid for life. My mom probably thought she was being a good mom and look at me, just saying.

8:55 am: Kid dropped off at school. Breakfast down the gullet. Working on a blog post about Netflix trying to stop illicit account sharing for The News With No Sound and ramping up to get up off the couch. Still sitting on the couch...

10:48 am: Went out into the yard to work on these two enormous ferns that my husband saved from the curb of a neighboring street. I was having a real Daniel La Russo moment, like how he trims those tiny bonsai trees, but with ferns. Now I feel itchy, thou. (BTW you should be binging Cobra Kai, it is horrible in the best way)

11:43 am: Trying to write, having some trouble, and my husband is distracting. He comes to sit by me with his own "thing" to do but causes us both to do anything but our "things".

1:00 pm: Looking up corned beef recipes for dinner, I am going to grab one on my way to pick up the kid, who is texting me from school asking if he can go to the mall tomorrow. Isn't he supposed to be in class?

 

2:37 pm: Why is it so awkward when someone says hello to you and you respond with good morning when it is currently two in the afternoon. People make mistakes, let me live, please.

2:55 pm: Thinking about how every job I've ever had I have taken in desperation of not starving or having to live on the street. I have never applied or interviewed for a "dream job", I don't even know what job I would consider my "dream job".

3:30 pm: Corned beef in the insta-pot, kid not doing homework, I have to get on that. I am the homework police, my life has been fulfilled.

5:45 pm: Dinner time, baby. I enjoyed a Guinness in honor of St. Patrick's day, really just an excuse to drink on a Thursday.

6:15 pm: Dishes washed and time to walk the dog. The kid ran over to the park to shoot hoops, hopefully the practice will break the family curse that keeps us from being good at any sport.

 

7:30 pm: Started watching the Mindy Project on DVD (which I also borrowed from the library, I am putting that free movies and books situation to work).

8:45 pm: Got to remind the kid to brush his teeth like he's seven and not fourteen. I tried to scare him by telling him if he doesn't brush his teeth they would fall out and then there will be no more Peeps in his future. I didn't work.