The Daily: The Spoon Alarm

 Friday, March 18, 2022

4:58 am: Good morning Friday!  I woke up thinking about my in laws and how one time when we were visiting my father in law set a spoon on the door handle of the sliding door to act as a spoon alarm. What would have happened if the spoon was knocked off? I need to find out what the plan of attack was...

5:21 am: A man bun walked into the gym this morning. This is new. 

7:11 am: Drinking coffee and not stressing about getting the kid up out of bed, late start Fridays make me feel like I actually have choices in this life.

 

9:40 am: Sitting outside the mall waiting for the stores to open. I never go to the mall, it's just that I hate it.

 

10:28 am: Finishing up at the Apple store, getting a new iPhone. The sales person is a very cool twenty something with awesome bright hair with a beanie and platform boots on. Nothing makes you feel older than being around cool young people.

12:15 pm: My package from Shop Bop with jewelry just arrived and as luck would have it my husband is doing who knows what at Target. Perfect timing UPS, perfect timing.

1:38 pm: Husband came back from running errands in a delightful mood, by delightful mood I mean bad, really bad. Yikes, I am staying out of his way.

2:10 pm: Left to pick up the kid from school. Dog had to stay home, I have to take the kid to the mall for his friends birthday after school and it is too hot for dogs in cars. I live with the fear that someone will break my car window to save my dog one day...it's a real fear.

4:05 pm: Still waiting in mall parking lot with my kid for a gang of birthday teenagers to get here. Kids are horrible at making plans, seriously fucking horrendous. 

4:45 pm: Just got back from leaving my first and only child at the mall to hang out with a bunch of boys that are probably up to no good. That could be the last time I ever see him again, I gave him one last look so that I can remember him...

5:00 pm: I am not really sure what to do with myself home alone. Eat food? Watch TV? Put away the large stack of dishes in the dish drainer that my husband left before he went to work?

6:00 pm: Walked the dog through the neighborhood and had to evade the big daddy peacock, I thing we were getting to close to his lady flock.

7:15 pm: Leaving to pick up the kid from his friends birthday jammy jam, hopefully he's still breathing.

7:33 pm: The kid is not at the restaurant where he is supposed to be, he's alive because he is able to text me BUT he is not where he is supposed to be. Great, now I have to be mad and yell at him. Shit, this Friday sucks.

8:37 pm: Sitting down to have a glass of wine, I am tired and annoyed, being a mom is not fun, I thought that it was going to be way more fun than this.