Saturday, December 29, 2012

The Stupidest Thing He Has Ever Heard


            When my son woke up this Saturday morning I went to his room to help him out of bed, walked with him to the bathroom, and then helped him get comfortable in mine and my husband's bed. I turned on cartoons for him and got up to get him chocolate milk when he got thirsty.  All of this happened while my husband did not make a peep, he did not open his eyes, and did not attempt to move to accommodate my son’s arrival in our queen size bed.  Within the hour my son began asking when and what would be for breakfast, to which I replied by getting up and starting breakfast for him.  When my husband finally grumbled something incoherent at us I said that I thought he was still pretending to be asleep, this of course was not something he was pleased to hear.  My husband let me know, not in the sweetest of tones, my saying he was pretending to sleep was the “stupidest” thing he had ever heard. This charming comment, coming from the man who for at least the last hour had not moved or spoken to neither my son nor I, was not the way I would have chose to start the weekend.
            My son had a very itchy Friday night, he called for help at 3:30 a.m. and let me know that he “couldn’t stand the itching anymore”, so I got him up and took him to the bathroom to get the itchy area slathered with Cortisone 10.  Having solved the itch emergency I got my son all tucked back into bed with a kiss, and of course the stern reminder that it was still the middle of the night and that going back to sleep was not an option it was a must.  I, of course, returned to bed and was not able to return to the beautiful land of slumber, instead I tossed and turned until I decided to pick up Dexter is Delicious to read a bloody murder mystery in the wee hours of the morning.  Reading was not working it’s siesta magic either, leaving me with my last solution of trying to close my eyes and count down from one billion until I finally dosed off to sleep.  And now we are back to where my little tale began, my son awake at 7:20 a.m. and the stupidest thing my husband ever heard.
            Obviously, the comment was not the stupidest thing he ever heard, I have watched Harold and Kumar Go To While Castle with him before, and we have a four year old with a serious case of potty mouth.  For the sake of not ruining the weekend for all three of us I will vent my annoyance with this rude awakening, after an rough night of no sleep while taking care of OUR son, with you wonderfully understanding people.  Good morning to the rest of you exhausted and stupidest comment making mothers out there, I hope your weekend begins with less flaws than mine.  I guess the good news is my weekend can only get better from here….right?

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