The Comment

I cannot be the only one…who has logged into their blog on any random day only to be blindsided by a less-than-friendly comment left by a reader.  After reading the aggressively negative comment I find myself going through a range of emotions: First, I feel defensive, thinking to myself, “What did I do or say that caused such animosity,” secondly, I feel defeated, “Maybe I shouldn’t write anymore,” and lastly, I remind myself, “What I write is not for everyone…and obviously this particular post was not for the comment leaver.” 

I blog about a touchy subject, Parenting, with so many parents in the world, all with diverse parenting styles, it’s easy to understand how a parenting experience that I blogged about (that was so simple to me) could potentially cause negative feelings in another parent.  With this understanding in mind, I decided to create personal guidelines of how I want to deal with the negativity when it comes

The prickly feeling of an angry comment.

knocking on my blog’s doorstep, and here are my thoughts:

1.     ALWAYS respond.

I respond to the opposing comment by acknowledging their point and hopefully clarifying my point further.  If the person insulted me directly, well…I don’t step into that arena, mud slinging based on the opinion of others simply isn’t my thing, I am not that type of person, nor do I want to be.

If your choice of response is to really give it back to the commenter feel free, BUT know that when you put your opinion and thoughts out into the ether you are welcoming others opinions and thoughts back to you as well.  That is where the idea of an online “community” comes into play. Think of it this way, you couldn’t proclaim I hate pizza and not expect at least one person to think that you were crazy for doing so, and then proceed to explain to you why they think you are nuts.

2.     Let it GO!

I am not one for grudges, how terribly heavy it is to hold onto disappointment, annoyance, or anger, so when you receive a comment that is less than complimentary face it and let it go.  I don’t allow the negative comment to become the entire theme of my post by discussing it with other readers.  If another reader brings up the offending comment in their comments, address it calmly, and move on.

3.     Do NOT delete the comment.

Sure, I have the power to obliterate the comment, but I don’t. I leave the comment, respond to it, and make it known that I believe in what I have written, as well as, that I am open to discussing other points of views. 

I do have one caveat to this decision of to delete-or-not to delete and that is if the comment includes hateful or seriously dirty words, defined as, any words that I, myself, would not use in a post on my blog. If any of those Whoa-Mama type of words are included in a reader’s post, it would give me cause to delete the it.  With the deletion of the adverse comment I would submit a comment of my own explaining why I deleted the post, acknowledging that the comment was received and read, but I can’t, in good taste, allow certain words to be included in my daily rays of sunshine (aka: my blog).

4.     Feel GOOD that something I wrote moved someone (even if was in anger).

I began writing my blog because I was surprised how many of my thoughts on parenting were not reflected in the other mother’s around me.  I took to the Internet and was thrilled to find other honest, smart, and brilliant Mama’s who felt similarly, but I am not naive enough to think we are the only ones out there.  If my thought on a particular subject sparks something in someone, enough to have them comment with such passion, then I think it’s healthy for me to read it and try to see their angle, and hopefully I can get a different perspective.

These are just a few of the guidelines I have put in place for myself and my blog, these little rules make me feel better when faced with a challenging comment, and help me keep on track (instead of crying to the heavens, “Why….why?”).

Do you have any personal rules for dealing with a comment that is unflattering to yourself or your blog? If so, please share them with the rest of us, that way when we get those “kind” of comments we react with our level heads instead of our emotional ones.