I cannot be the only one…who has been mid-argument only to stop and realize that the argument isn’t really about what the bickering is focused on, but rather something else all together. This was the case when the Hubs and I were arguing about the Sonny Boy’s upcoming T-ball schedule.
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| The Sonny Boy is ready, but I am stressed. |
The Hubs wants Sonny Boy to play T-ball, he needs Sonny Boy
to play T-ball, he has enough enthusiasm for all three of us when it comes to
T-ball, so he took the plunge and signed Sonny Boy up with the local little
league. I let my Hubs know that I
was glad to help out with the scheduling, but because of my many other
obligations (college classes, work, and keeping them from starving to death) I couldn’t be
responsible for taking the aspiring T-Baller to all the required practices. The
Hubs was understanding and ready to take on the T-ball season, letting me know
that he had the whole thing under control.
Well, if by under control the Hubs meant he would fall back
on me for ninety-nine percent of the T-ball obligations, sure, he had it under
control. After returning from the
first little league team meeting, the Hubs avoided giving me the low down on
what the league scheduling was like. He kept himself busy in the garage sweeping up an unrivaled dust
cloud and suspiciously feeling the need to do a load of laundry for the next
hour or so, until he finally came into the house with a look on his face like the cat that
swallowed the canary.
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| Opening day (only 8am-12pm on Sat). |
When he decided to face the music and let me know the
particulars of Sonny Boy’s upcoming triumph on the little league field, I
was dismayed to hear of the amount of commitment he had signed ME up for. After many interruptions by him while I
tried to run through the laundry list of all the responsibilities I was going
to have move around to make this T-ball career a reality, I realized what was
really getting under my skin about the argument.
I wasn’t upset about the rough road of reorganizing our
lives to make the T-Ball playing possible, but that the
Hubs has the ability to make a plan without knowing all the particulars because he has
a big, reliable, and dependable safety net securely placed under his life, in
the shape of me. I took a minute
to imagine what that life must be like knowing someone has always got your
back, someone’s always there to pick up the pieces, and that someone’s going to
support you regardless of their other obligations, and thought how freeing that must feel. That is a freedom I definitely don't have.
The Sonny Boy is playing T-ball and I am sure when he makes the winning run at one of his future games he will thank his Dad for signing him up to play, while I smile and bite my tongue.
The Sonny Boy is playing T-ball and I am sure when he makes the winning run at one of his future games he will thank his Dad for signing him up to play, while I smile and bite my tongue.
I love this! My 5 year old is playing T-ball this year for the first time so I can definitely relate.
ReplyDeletePS- found you through BloggyMoms. You definitely have a new follower!
www.chanity.blogspot.com
I had no idea the commitment a 6 year old playing T-ball would be...well, I didn't really have a choice!
DeleteThanks for stopping by and for following!
Every mom of a t-ball kid can relate! Great post. I never signed my now 7 year old up for t-ball because of the commitment. And the field is only 2 houses away from my house! He's now a great baseball player, even without t-ball. But my 4 year old, who really only likes "playing with my imagination," as he puts it, wants to play t-ball because 4 of his friends are playing. I said no way. I know it's going to be terrible season for us when he sees his friends driving by to the field. Guess I'll need to keep the shades closed and him inside playing imagination games while the mini vans drive pass by. And you're so right about the sons giving thanks to the dads! :)
ReplyDeleteI wish a few of Sonny Boy's friends were playing t-ball, at least then I would have the Moms to complain-on-end with, but it's just lonely me and a bunch of Dads.
DeleteI like this "playing with my imagination" idea, I am going to work on that one with Sonny Boy when next year's t-ball season starts.
Thanks for commenting!
I know exactly what you mean about being a safety net & not having that in return. It's hurtful & frustrating - especially because it would be your son getting hurt if you tried "teaching your husband a lesson." I try explaining to my husband that I'm not his mother & I shouldn't have to pick up his messes more than I do for our actual kids. It just insults him & he never changes his ways. I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you know exactly how I feel! I like to think that the Hubs acts the way he does because I do such a great job at being a Mama that he knows I can manage anything (even if it drives me a little crazy).
DeleteThanks for stopping by!
I totally get this. It's so frustrating to have to be the one who always picks up the pieces. I do this too....and have threatened to go on strike! But that would only hurt the children. Do you take comfort in knowing that most men probably do this?! Good like this season...maybe you'll enjoy the games...get a good tan, read some good books...and make some new friends. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI do feel bettering knowing that I am not the only one who experiences this type of family drama (for lack of a better term) and I have to say that going on strike sounds tempting.
DeleteAlso, I have to admit, the other t-ball parents are fun and supportive, not to mention my Sonny Boy is a t-ball natural :)
Thanks for stopping by!
I hear ya. Sometimes I just want a wife. I would love to have someone to do the laundry, clean up the house, and cook the meals. But I don't see it happening, nor do I see my husband changing his ways. But you know what my biggest pet peeve is? Why is the T-ball schedule so crazy in the first place? I'm a Scout leader and I have been seeing this in all the kids that play on sports teams. Used to be you could do a sport and still have a life, but lately it has gotten way out of control. If you want to play a sport, you have to give up 100% of your free time to the coach's (or the league's) whims. When is someone going to stand up and say this is RIDICULOUS and I won't do it? How can kids be well-rounded human beings if they have to spend every spare minute of their time at T-ball (soccer, football, lacrosse) practice? It's crazy and parents need to just say no way Jose! #SITSSharefest
ReplyDeleteA wife for me?? Brilliant idea!
DeleteI agree with you, the t-ball coach has the ability to set the schedule, he could be a bit more understanding about the timing (although, he has a wife at home making a dinner and doing the laundry, so what does he have to worry about).
Thanks for stopping by!
Oh, was this a well-timed post! Having spent much of the last week in bed with the flu I got a rude reality check about how much I take care of around here. And I'm not just talking about my husband - the kids, who are old enough to contribute, didn't step up either. A good wake up call that I do not demand enough help.
ReplyDeleteTrying to keep this household under control with this new t-ball schedule has been rough. The Hubs asks me all the time, "What needs to be done?" Usually, I think it's easier just to do it myself, BUT now I am leaving him lists...although, everything is still not getting done. Frustrating.
DeleteI hope you get some well-deserved help and thanks for stopping by!