Saturday, November 23, 2013

Putting Myself Out There

I cannot be the only one...who sometimes gets lost in her daily routines, so lost that when the frenzy finally calms down for the day, and she thinks about the world outside of her harmonious home life, she isn't really sure where she fits in anymore. I dream big about the ways I am going to put myself out there for the world, let my talents shine, but then something happens. I pull back at the last minute telling myself I am still trying to put my thoughts in order and I should wait to offer my brilliance until I can launch my boat in tip top shape.

If your life has been anything like mine, your biological clock gave it's first loud tick right around the same time your career was hitting it's stride, needless to say the timing was not the best.  I decided to answer the call of my biological clock and was lucky enough to have the fantastic Sonny Boy, but my ability to give my career the attention it needed, combined with the bad economy, equaled unemployment for the first time in ten years.  This gave me a chance to put all that work ethic into making the best home life I could for my little family of three....but then something else happened, that Sonny Boy kept growing and growing, and now he doesn't need me quite as much.  Which brings us back to where I sit today, pondering over the type of things I want to do, my doubts of what I can do, and wondering how thin is the line between growing a new career but still being totally available to my family.

As I write this I haven't come any closer to the answer of what I will be to the rest of the world now that I am Sonny Boy's mama, I think next week I will put myself out there and see what bites...then again maybe I need to spend a day or two more making a game plan...here I go again.

2 comments:

  1. I can tell you I totally understand! I too gave up my career to be a stay at home mom. Thankfully its worked out for me to stay home with my kids, but it wasn't all peaches and cream. Money was really tight up until a year ago and we were barely getting by. The things we do for our little ones. Good luck in your future endeavors! I hope you find something you love doing!

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    1. Thanks Heather! I am working on figuring out where I fit in and I am getting better at my vacillating, I have only changed my mind two (or three) times today!

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